Watch Your Language: How language shapes our experiences
As human beings, we are wired to communicate. We use language not only to express ourselves but also to make sense of our experiences in life, particularly experiences within our body. Particularly pain. We can often go to great lengths to find words to communicate and describe our pain.
Have you ever stopped to think about the words you use when describing your body and your pain? Or how our perception of what is causing the pain can change our experience of it? Let’s dive into this fascinating topic and see how our language can shape our experience.
I am going to focus on pain, because this is a particular area of interest for me, but it is worth noting that much of the research that we have around language and experiences relates to many other experiences beyond pain. In short, language plays a big role in shaping all of our experiences.
How is pain related to our words?
Our brains can often have a negative bias when it comes to describing pain
Pain is complex. It’s not just your body telling your brain that something is hurt or damaged, pain is influenced by a myriad of factors including our emotions, thoughts, beliefs and even the words that we use to describe.
Consider this: When we describe our pain we often use words like ‘sharp’, ‘stabbing’ or ‘burning’. These words can evoke strong, negative emotions and perceptions of danger, they imply immediate and sudden experiences of pain. On the other hand, words like ‘aching’, ‘tender’ and ‘sore’ can convey a milder sensation, but perhaps more long lasting or ongoing. These subtle and strong differences in language not only reflects the experience we are having, but also shapes it.
Imagine two scenarios:
You wake up with a nagging pain in your lower back. When your partner asks you what it feels like you describe it as ‘crippling’ or ‘agonising’. These words evoke a surge of distress and (hopefully) empathy from your partner and they are (again hopefully) spurred into cooking you breakfast in bed (maybe?). Suddenly your nagging pain, now becomes a little more amplified. Your language signalled to you and your partner that there was danger - so much danger in fact that you need to stay where you are and rest.
Alternatively, you wake up with the same pain, but you describe it as ‘uncomfortable’ or ‘annoying’. These words carry less emotional weight than the previous example. Hopefully your partner still offers your some empathy, but now you can approach the situation from a place of calm resilience. Your language has signalled to you and your partner that the situation is not dire, you are ok and while pain is present you have the capacity to keep going despite the discomfort.
In both scenarios, the physical sensation remains unchanged, but the emotional and cognitive responses differ significantly based on the language used.
The same is true when we talk about our body as being ‘broken’ or ‘useless’. ‘My stupid back is hurting again’, ‘my neck is so broken’. This type of language carries negative connotations and brings a sense of disempowerment, it says: your body does not have the capacity to improve or get better. It signals to your subconscious brain that there is danger and that capacity is low. This language is telling a story to our brain and sooner or later our brain starts to believe it.
So why does this matter?
Our brain plays a crucial role in processing and creating the perception of pain. It constantly evaluates incoming signals from the body and other areas of the brain and generates a response based on its evaluation of all these (and more) factors. These can include your past experiences of pain, your beliefs (around pain, life, yourself, your own body and more!), and expectations (again this can be around life, your body, your experiences etc.). When we use language that amplifies the sense of threat or severity of pain, our brain takes that information into consideration and processes it accordingly. This can mean that you experience pain more intensely triggering a cascade of physiological responses that then further exacerbate the sensation.
Conversely, using language that lowers the threat or severity of pain can help dampen its impact on our nervous system. It’s not about denying or ignoring the pain, but rather reframing our perception of it in way that promotes healing and resilience.
So, what can you do?
Choose your words wisely: Pay attention to the language you use when describing your pain. Instead of going for the big, fearful and catastrophic terms (‘my back is killing me’), opt for neutral or even positive language that reduces fear and distress (‘my back is telling me that it needs some care’).
Our brain has the incredible ability to change and adapt through ‘neuroplasticity’. This means that our brains are able to learn new skills, recover, grow and adapt to new situations. So you can train your brain to change thanks to neuroplasticity.
Educate yourself: Learn about the fascinating science of pain and learn more about how our perception of the world (and our language) influences it. Understanding the role of the brain in pain processing can empower you to take control of your experience. This is one of my favourite videos to begin the journey of understanding the influence of perception on pain.
Seek support: If you’re struggling with pain, consider seeking help from a healthcare practitioner who can help firstly help you manage your symptoms (because learning new things is HARD when you are in pain) and then help guide you towards finding more supportive language to help manage your pain in the long term.
The take away
The way we talk about our pain and our bodies matters. By choosing language the promotes calm resilience and empowerment we can transform our experience of pain and pave the way for healing and recovery.
Remember, words have power - so watch your language! Use your words wisely.